Yep you heard it, cancer sucks! At this stage I have a couple of weeks of recuperation to get through and what better way to use it than Netflix marathons and sharing my thoughts with you…
The word cancer absolutely sucks! It elicits so much fear, grief and anxiety. I didn’t know that there was anything wrong with my health until I was told there was because of a mammogram. I’m only human and by crikey there were a lot of mixed emotions. After all, we’ve been conditioned through the generations to be scared of this word. A quote I read helped take the fear out of it so I can concentrate on coming back into balance. “Cancer really is not a disease. It is a reaction to long term negative inflammatory conditions. The hard part is identifying those conditions”. I believe that was quoted by Joseph Dillon, however I may be wrong...
My personal experience through the first stages of treatment for breast cancer (so far) have been an incredible experience of both good and uncomfortable. I had no clue... there were no symptoms. To be told I had breast cancer threw my world upside down. For anyone who has heard those words, you'll understand.
When I first went in to get a diagnosis I was reasonably calm. I had made my mind up to not think about it until I had seen the specialist. My line of thinking was that if I stressed, it would only increase the risk of my body being stressed and suppressing my immune system. So in effect, I was safe guarding my body as long as I could. I guess that’s why there were some comments from the doctor on whether I was taking it all seriously. Maybe I wasn’t acting the way I was supposed to, I don’t even remember how I was acting actually. Everything happened so fast! To be honest, when you are diagnosed with something serious your brain just shuts off. Or at least mine did, I heard what was being said but wasn’t really taking it in. I understood what options I had (medically anyway) and within minutes of consulting my gut, we had a plan of action. When I walked out of that office, my brain was well and truly switched. I didn’t take any of the diagnosis information away with me on purpose. I decided to let the doctors deal with my symptoms and I would deal with my wellness.
After leaving the office that day, I decided to give myself a freak week. A serious diagnosis gives you a very fast way of seeing your own mortality. I allowed all emotions to come in and feel them fully, I allowed myself to think the absolute worst case scenario and gave myself permission for it to be ok. I ranged from the “I can’t leave my family, they need me” to “I haven’t finished all the things I wanted to do” to feeling guilty because there were diagnoses far worse than mine and I don’t have the right to freak out... to, “I’ve got this, I know how to heal this, I’m ok”.
Within 4 weeks of having a mammogram and 2 biopsies, I was in and out of hospital within 24 hours minus part of my boob and 2 lymph nodes (so far anyway). You would think that being a practitioner of energy medicine I would’ve sat back and contemplated any surgery and medications before going through with them. If I didn’t have a husband and three children to think of I may have chosen differently (they don't view health the way I do and I respected that). Over the years of researching for my BodyTalk practice I’ve learnt so much and although I knew the options and I was feeling extremely uneasy, I was determined not to allow myself to be sucked into that fear word, “Cancer”. It’s a scary word but it doesn’t have to be.
It’s in my nature to research but this time I realised that the only research I needed to focus on was how to get my body back into balance. I didn’t want to give myself a reason to focus on anything other than getting well (I now have 6 books to read). I was surprised that the first thing I did was apologise to my body for the years of neglect (because I had) and I sent love to those cells. My body hasn’t deceived me, it’s trying to tell me something and for the first time in years, I’m listening!
So I’m sitting here with part of my boob gone and 2 lovely scars with pain meds beside my bed and I’m still feeling so grateful. Grateful because until about 4 weeks ago I wasn’t aware there was anything wrong. Within 2 weeks I had seen two specialists and within 3 weeks I was booked in for surgery. All these amazing people appeared out of nowhere and all had a part to play in the beginning of my healing process. I didn’t know any of these people before, sadly I don’t actually remember any of their names but they have all done their best to help me through such a confusing time in my life. There is still a way to go, this is only the beginning and who knows where this will take me.
What I do know for sure though… it’s ok to freak out, there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Just go into the feeling then release it when you’re done. Let it go, don’t hang onto it. Don’t try to be brave for anyone else, they need to see your vulnerability so that they can help you. When you’re done with your freak out, take action. Keep the lines of communication open, keep talking. Choose to focus on your wellness, not your illness. Listen to your doctor as far as what you need but refuse to listen to any negativity, you can heal, you just need to believe in your body. When you’re ready, make a plan of action, do the necessary medical stuff but then show yourself some kindness. Rest, find exercise you enjoy, eat well, drink plenty of water, laugh, then laugh some more, look at your mindset, is it positive or negative? If it’s negative, look at the belief behind it, does it serve you? If not give it the middle finger and let it go. If it’s right for you, seek natural healthcare alongside your medical care, do things that make you feel good. Talk, then process and talk some more. Reach out, there is so much help available. Sometimes through the darkest experiences comes amazing things and incredible connections. We all have a choice, we can wonder why it happened to us or we can see it as a learning lesson that somewhere, something wasn’t working.
When there is an imminent threat to our health, we need our medical professionals to help us through the crisis. We also need natural healthcare to help us discover how and why these symptoms of “disease” were created, to avoid it happening again. Nothing is ever simple, there are many many reasons for illness to happen and we may never know why. I only ask that you be open minded to allowing yourself to feel the feelings then give yourself the option of believing in the power or your own body to heal. I’m certainly giving it a go!